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Let it out!

Give yourself permission to feel whatever you’re feeling.  Cry because you can’t see your mom in the nursing home.  Admit that things are really scary and you’re afraid of months with no income.  Vent your frustration with being stuck at home.  I’ve done all of those things in just the past few hours.  Sometimes we just need to wallow in our feelings for a little while without being told not to worry and everything will be fine.

Breathe

Sometimes we also need help moving beyond our misery.  Taking a deep breath and reassuring myself that it is perfectly normal to feel this way is a start.  I know my brain is wired to avoid uncertainty and keep me safe.  That statement comes from the rational part of my brain and calms me down.

Choose a Response

Now I’m equipped to choose how to respond to the uncertainty.  Instead of checking the news every 15 minutes and revisiting my worst case scenario plan, I can find ways to be grateful and stay connected.  Reaching out by email or text helps me feel less alone; phone or zoom calls and greeting a neighbor from six feet away are even better.

I want to be like the people who are singing from balconies.  Will you join me?

During election season there is a lot of discussion about which candidates have the most charisma.  Dictionary.com defines charisma as a personal quality that gives an individual influence or authority over large numbers of people. We often assume that the most charismatic leaders are also the best leaders but a Harvard Business Review study indicates that too much charisma may actually hinder a leader’s effectiveness.  When self-confidence becomes narcissism or persuasiveness turns into manipulative behavior, that isn’t effective leadership.

Here are some ways to demonstrate the right level of charisma:

  • Make a good first impression – you have less than a second to do so. The way you walk, dress, shake hands and make eye contact speak volumes before you ever open your mouth.
  • Focus on others – express genuine interest by asking questions and listening to the answers without thinking about what you’re going to say next.
  • Be appropriately passionate – talk with enthusiasm about what excites you and tell compelling stories.

How can you leverage charisma as one element of Executive Presence to be a more effective leader?