What is My Role?
Recently, I have been very aware of the impact of loss on family members, clients and friends who have lost loved ones or learned of a terminal illness. While I knew this was an inevitable part of life, I struggled to understand my role in these situations. In some cases, it was to provide comfort in a very personal way. In others, it was to offer a prayer that comfort would be provided by someone else.
Five Stages of Grief
Have you wondered how to help a friend or colleague who has suffered a loss and is dealing with profound sadness, confusion and fear of what lies ahead? You may be familiar with the five stages of grief as defined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
They point out that not everyone goes through all five stages and may not experience them in this order, but it can be useful to have some idea of what to expect. The website grief.com has good suggestions for what to say and do.
It’s Not About Me
One thing I have learned is that focusing on the other person rather than myself helps us both. I invite you to keep that in mind when someone you know is grieving.