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It was so moving to hear my client’s story about his new approach in dealing with a subordinate who had been his peer and friend for many years.  We talked in advance about how he wanted this person to feel and how he wanted to feel at the end of the conversation.  My client wanted to be careful not to hurt his friend while addressing some negative behaviors that were likely related to competition and resentment.  The client put himself in his friend’s shoes and the preparation paid off – his friend became more at ease, self-confident and trusting.  He is now disclosing information more readily which enables my client to be more effective in his role and ultimately impacts the bottom line.

To Infinity and Beyond

This same client also described how he handled a difficult situation with a neighbor in a way that prompted her to tell other family members about it.  Then his wife complimented his interaction with a plumber who made an expensive mistake.  When you start multiplying the impact of my client’s new behaviors, the ripples are endless.

Make A Choice

Of course, the opposite is true as well – our negative behaviors have equally strong effects on those around us.  We see the results in schools, workplaces, communities and families over multiple generations.  When you envision what ripple effects you want to create, what behaviors will you choose to generate benefits beyond yourself?

Are you wondering when we’ll get to the new normal?  In Beyond Entrepreneurship 2.0, Jim Collins writes that “uncertainty is chronic, instability is permanent, disruption is common, and we can neither predict nor govern events. There will be no ‘new normal’; there will only be a continuous series of ‘not- normal’ episodes that defy prediction and are unforeseen by most of us until they happen.” Simon Sinek explained on Brené Brown’s  Dare to Lead podcast, “If you have a finite mindset that thought scares you, and if you have an infinite mindset you smile and think, “Ooh, that’s fun.”   Sinek pointed out that an infinite mindset empowers us to find opportunity in surprise.

Do You Like Surprises?

I’ve had countless coaching conversations in the past year with people who are really sick of surprises.  I am too!  Although it’s hard to envision opportunity when I’m in survival mode, I can appreciate that embracing an infinite mindset will help me adapt and thrive.  When I saw Ford Motor Company’s announcement that 30,000 employees in North America will have personalized work schedules that include face-to-face interactions in the office and independent work at home, I recognized this as an example of applying an infinite mindset to the long-standing issue of work/life balance.

The Future is Fluid

How will your team work together in the future?  Nikki Morgan, EVP of TDIndustries, a construction and facilities services company, sees a common theme emerging: much more flexibility regarding where you work, but in-person collaboration will be essential.  Nikki said, “More investment will be made in technology to enable remote workers to interact easily with onsite or other remote employees.  Offices will be de-densified to allow for more distance between people and much more collaborative spaces.  Some are looking for more real estate, while others are looking to reduce.  Although my company will probably never be back to 100% onsite, we are committed to providing safe environments for collaboration.   We have a people-centered culture built on strong relationships between employees, so we will have to work harder to ensure we still have face-to-face opportunities to build those relationships.”

 

Simon Sinek believes that “leaders who embrace an infinite mindset…build stronger, more innovative, more inspiring organizations. They have the resilience to thrive in an ever-changing world, while their competitors fall by the wayside. Ultimately, those who adopt an infinite mindset are the ones who lead the rest of us into the future.”  Contact cheryl@csbryan.com if you want to be one of them!

As the pandemic wears on, people are struggling more than ever with bandwidth challenges.  Of course, internet bandwidth is a common problem since everyone is constantly on video calls but limited mental bandwidth has become a prevalent topic with my coaching clients.

Lack of Focus

It’s not surprising that lack of sleep, stress, multi-tasking and distractions are affecting our ability to focus.   Right now I’m distracted by the hole we had to cut in my wall to get to a broken pipe caused by one of the worst ice storms in Houston’s history.  You might be struggling with home schooling your children, trying to get a vaccine for a family member or forecasting business results in an ever-changing economic environment.

Three Strategies

When you feel yourself starting to shut down, these three strategies can help increase your mental bandwidth:

  • Heighten your awareness: start by identifying the things that are the most distracting and why it’s essential that you change how you deal with them.  Texts and emails are persistent culprits but it might be your pet who is more fun than fully engaging on yet another team call.  Building relationships leads to more effective teamwork which impacts the bottom line.
  • Make a plan: explore resources like Ready for Anything, Essentialism and Getting Things Done to find solutions to prioritizing what is most important.
  • Enlist support: whether you need administrative support, a coach and/or an accountability partner to check in on your progress, you’re much more likely to succeed if you don’t try to go it alone.

I suggest you give yourself a break, acknowledge that things are tough and then refocus to increase your bandwidth.

So many people have lost more than their jobs in this pandemic – they have lost their identities.  They don’t know how to answer the question, “What do you do?”

Safety in Numbers

Since humans are wired for connection and belonging, it makes sense that we gravitate toward people with similar interests and perspectives.  As we share experiences, our relationships deepen and the safety we feel as part of a group reinforces our identity.  When you lose a job that severs your connection to a work group or professional association, you may struggle with how to define yourself and your value.

Who Do You Want to Be?

If you consider who you want to be and how you measure your professional and personal value, your answer might be, “I want to be a partner, parent, friend and team leader.”  Bruce Shaffer, whose position as Director of Human Resources and Internal Communication for Schlumberger’s subsea business was eliminated recently, explained that he was able to move from bitterness to acceptance by getting clear about who he wants to be.

Bruce recognized his value to family members and former colleagues who needed his support.  As he reflected on what success means, Bruce said Ralph Waldo Emerson described it best:  “To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children … to leave the world a bit better … to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded.”

What would it mean for you to believe that you are more than the job you do?

Are you wondering when we’ll get to the new normal?  In Beyond Entrepreneurship 2.0, Jim Collins writes that “uncertainty is chronic, instability is permanent, disruption is common, and we can neither predict nor govern events. There will be no ‘new normal’; there will only be a continuous series of ‘not-normal’ episodes that defy prediction and are unforeseen by most of us until they happen.” Simon Sinek explained on Brené Brown’s  Dare to Lead podcast, “If you have a finite mindset that thought scares you, and if you have an infinite mindset you smile and think, “Ooh, that’s fun.”   Sinek pointed out that an infinite mindset empowers us to find opportunity in surprise.

Do You Like Surprises?

I’ve had countless coaching conversations in the past year with people who are really sick of surprises.  I am too!  Although it’s hard to envision opportunity when I’m in survival mode, I can appreciate that embracing an infinite mindset will help me adapt and thrive.  When I saw Ford Motor Company’s announcement that 30,000 employees in North America will have personalized work schedules that include face-to-face interactions in the office and independent work at home, I recognized this as an example of applying an infinite mindset to the long-standing issue of work/life balance.

The Future is Fluid

How will your team work together in the future?  Nikki Morgan, EVP of TDIndustries, a construction and facilities services company, sees a common theme emerging: much more flexibility regarding where you work, but in-person collaboration will be essential.  Nikki said, “More investment will be made in technology to enable remote workers to interact easily with onsite or other remote employees.  Offices will be de-densified to allow for more distance between people and much more collaborative spaces.  Some are looking for more real estate, while others are looking to reduce.  Although my company will probably never be back to 100% onsite, we are committed to providing safe environments for collaboration.   We have a people-centered culture built on strong relationships between employees, so we will have to work harder to ensure we still have face-to-face opportunities to build those relationships.”

Simon Sinek believes that “leaders who embrace an infinite mindset…build stronger, more innovative, more inspiring organizations. They have the resilience to thrive in an ever-changing world, while their competitors fall by the wayside. Ultimately, those who adopt an infinite mindset are the ones who lead the rest of us into the future.”  Contact cheryl@csbryan.com if you want to be one of them!

Do you know anyone who is confused about how to address inequality on their team, in their organization and in their personal life? Who feels defensive when asked to check their privilege? Who doesn’t understand the cry that silence is violence? These people are likely reacting to shame.

Shame vs. Accountability

As Brené Brown explained in a recent Shame and Accountability podcast, shame is not a tool for social justice; it is a tool of suppression. Rather than motivating us to change, shame triggers a fear of disconnection from our tribe that we inherited from our ancestors. Our brains react to that fear and we fight, flee or freeze.
Accountability is a more effective tool for motivating change. To explain the difference between being shamed and being held accountable, Brené shared this example: when you tell a child he is a liar, he feels ashamed and alone. If you tell a child that he is a good person who told a lie and that’s not OK in your family, you’re holding him accountable for his behavior. That helps him accept responsibility and change his behavior so he can stay in the tribe.

Empathy and Action

When we feel shamed for saying the wrong thing or not speaking up to challenge the status quo, relying on empathy enables us to be curious about the other person’s perspective. Then we must manage our own reactions by recognizing our triggers, breathing deeply and pausing before we respond. Listening first, then considering what to think, say or do differently is a way to avoid getting defensive, rationalizing our behavior or demanding absolution from the person holding us accountable. I recommend Brene’s mantra – I’m here to get it right, not to be right.

Change requires courage, curiosity and commitment. I invite you to check out The Role of Senior Leaders in Building a Race Equity Culture and So, You Want to Talk About Race and consider joining a Brave Conversation about racial inequality. Contact cheryl@csbryan.com today to find out more about small discussion group opportunities or inquire about a custom-designed corporate program.