- Purpose– Remember why you decided to make these changes. Focus on the benefits for yourself and others.
- Patience– Expect that you will fall back into old behaviors under stress. Give yourself a break and ask others to do the same.
- Practice– It takes about a year of consistent practice, feedback and accountability to sustain a behavior change.
- Plan– Who will be your feedback and accountability partners? How will you deal with setbacks?
What do you do when that voice in your head is saying, “You aren’t good enough”?
If you try to ignore it does it just get louder and more persistent?
Psychologist Carl Jung said, “What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.” When my clients need to tame that mean little monster who wants them to fail, we focus first on understanding and accepting where the monster comes from. Then we identify some possible responses to it.
A very powerful response is a short, positive mantra in the present tense that you can repeat whenever you hear the monster’s voice. If the monster says, “You’ll look stupid in that meeting with your boss if you don’t have all the answers,” your mantra might be, “I know everything I need to know.” That enables you to say with confidence, “I don’t know but I will find out.”
What might be different if you respond rather than resist that monster in your head?